the Blarney Stone

[mw509]

Hello David,
Considering the vast amount of money you get paid for sharing your profound and entertaining thoughts on golf, written or verbal, I've been wondering if you've ever kissed the Blarney Stone? —Serge, Saguenay, Quebec

Serge:
Your getting to be a frequent correspondent, aren’t you, Serge? Things a little slow up there, old son?

To really understand this Blarney Stone phenomenon, you should know the legend is anyone, but particularly an Irishman, who lays a lip lock on the Blarney Stone, will be deeded with the "gift of gab." It’s a nice concept, but it’s, well, blarney. What makes the Irish so brilliant with words, written or otherwise, is fear. Even Cromwell was reluctant to lop off the head of someone in mid-sentence. We figured if we could keep talking, the English would eventually give up and gallop off in frustration looking for someone a little less loquacious to impale.

But the real truth is I’m petrified of heights and that’s why I’ve never bussed the old boulder. The Blarney Stone is located in Blarney Castle in County Cork. The line is a half mile long and winds up the most claustrophobic four stories of decaying, shoulder scraping, wet, cold and miserable steps you’ve ever seen. As if that’s not enough fun, the castle is almost completely disintegrated. The roof is long gone and when you reach the top level where the stone is located, you have to circumnavigate the entire outside rim of the castle, inches from death. When you finally get to the damn thing, you have to lie down on your back and lean down into a hole with some iron bars to keep you from slithering head first to the rocks below. Two Irish gargoyles hold onto your legs and a couple of leprechauns snag the money that falls out of your pocket. Now for the magic moment; you’re upside down staring at a snot-encrusted rock. If you listen closely, you can hear the e-coli, dengue fever and other lovely viruses having a party.

No, I’ve never kissed the Blarney Stone.

- from Golf Magazine

[fdsman]

Ha! I wonder f anyone heres going to give that a try. I'd get some shots after words though, just to be on the safe side.

[deanopilot]

Then, of course, there is the laughter of the locals who supposedly challenge themselves to pee upon the stone as a form of a "salute" to all the tourists.

[DangerousDave]

do a flip, and Kiss the Blarney Stone. Where is it, again? Somewhere on the Isles, I forgot. Ireland, perhaps. Sorry