)- being in the UK that means it's often cold and wet. Being able to whip up a hot meal in 10 minutes without resorting to a Pot Noodle/Cup Noodle thing is a goodsend....hence what follows are my reviews- strap yerselves in, tis' a bumpy ride 
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Menu 2- Jamaican Pork Chop w/Noodles
Contents
Porkchop with Noodles in Sauce Meal pouch
Spiced Apples Desser Pouch
Jalapeno Cheese Spread
Vegetable Crackers
Dairy Shake
Tabasco
Accessory pack
All on-line reviews point to this particular MRE being "Teh Bestest Eva!1!" so it was not without some trepidation that I chose to have this as my 1st MRE- if it tasted like dog's arse then the rest would be palmed off on some willing idiot on the campsite.
Having slit open the orangey brown brick, It seemed I'd got a fair old amount of nosh to eat. In a brown cardboard sleeve was the main meal (Jamaican Pork and Noodles), the Flameless Ration Heater was the translucent green bag. Also included were a vaccuum packed Crackers (vegetable), a fat generous sachet of Jalapeno Cheese Spread, a second cardnboard container of Spiced Apple, a large bag of Vanilla Dairy Shake and the little 'care package' of Tabasco Sauce, flat packed bog roll, spoon, matches etc etc.
All in all it seemed like a healthy amount of nosh. First off I slit open the FRH, ripped open the card outer of the main meal and followed the instructions to the letter. Basically you add water, lean against a 'Rock Or Something' (hey- Private!...stand here while I lean my ration against you) then wait while some a exothermic reaction heats up your food to piping warmth. What suprised me, as a veteran of camping chemical heaters/handwarmers of all kinds, is just how rapidly the FRH starts producing steam...we are talking a scant few seconds between pouring in the water and the outer packet being too hot too touch:- very impressive. Dependant upon how cold it is and the exact meal you can expect the MRE heater to do it's job in 10-14 minutes.
So with a 10+ min wait I decided to try the vagaries of Jalapeno Cheese Spread and Vegetable Crackers. I had remind myself a few times that everything I was chowing down on was at least 3 years old- The crackers were crisp and tasty (if bloody salty- I would be thinking twice about these if I was low on water), the jalapeno cheese spread was a little gritty in texture but the flavour was very clearly jalapeno chillis with a gentle cheese flavour. A pleasantly spicy start to the meal....washed down nicely with ice cold lager, as always.
I rescued the Main meal from the heater (now requiring a cloth to hold) and on a whim jammed the Spiced Apple dessert into the heater to scavenge the last of the heat...
On opening the MRE, the 'chop' is infact small lumps of very well cooked pork reminiscent of some of the chinese meals I've had. It still had a meat texture and had a 'true' flavour- much better than expected. The sauce contained short pieces of cooked tagiatelli which helps bulk the meal out but there is much more meat than pasta. The sauce itself was a fruity spicy mix with some red peppers and veg evident- it reminded me a little of a spicier more flavoursome HP sauce...all in all it was very filling and extremly tasty.
Having hygenically cleaned my spoon (I licked it) I then set about my now-heated Spiced Apple pud. Basically the pouch contains stewed apples with a few sultanas and quite a bit of apple sauce spiked with nutmeg...Very sweet and satisfying, I imagine that this pud has a high trade value in the field. It's not unilke the filling of a shop-bought apple pie and would have gone very nicely with some custard and a nice slab of crispy shortcrust pastry: it was that nice!
At that point I only had the Dairy Shake left to "enjoy". This one was Vanilla flavoured and requires you to just add water then shake for a tasty milk-based beverage. At that point in the day I had a 3rd cold can of Stella on the go and decided to forgoe the Shake...it remains untried at the time of writing- guess I'm never going to be that desperate for a milkshake.
All in all, I was suprised and impressed with the quality of the MRE nosh- it was better than much of the stuff you get out of cans from the supermarket. The FRH was an absolute godsend, though if I were a real troop in combat I might be a smidge concerned about that much steam being made in my pocket....
Menu 8 Beef Patty
Contents
Beef Patty Meal pouch
Nacho Cheese Pretsels
2x Wheat Snack Bread
Cheese Spread
BBQ Sauce
Powdered BEverage base (in this case Spiced Apple Cider)
Tabasco
Accessories Pack
Afternoon rolled around and I was still pleasantly full from the lunchtime MRE reviewed above. On receiving all of my MREs the Beef Patty 'brick' was noticibly less full than the others, I therefore decided that this 'less full' MRE pack would consitute my tea prior to further drinking under the CSU Parachute and some topping off at the Pub.
Same deal with the FRH, again a rapid amount of steam was produced on adding the water.
As my main was gently cooking lent against the crate of Stella, I opened my first Wheat Snack Bread to eat with the Cheese Spread. The bread is a dense unleavened slice that has been manufacutured to look like a crust slice from a farmhouse bloomer- how very twee. In taste it's actually quite sweet, quite dry and filling. Somewhere between a good naan bread and longlife white is the best description- I must admit that I acutally quite like the Wheat Snack Bread. With a couple of slices of this and some good marmalade and/or marmite I reckon you'd have a very compact energy source for outdoor activities.....Are we all thinking 'lembas' now?
The cheese spread was not a patch on the Jalapeno flavoured stuff and fearsomely salty- not a patch on dairylea but better than the supermarket-own-brands of cheese spread. It went well with the bread, despite the serving being very thick. Cracking open another Stella, I realised the main meal was ready for my consumption.
The Beef Patty itself is a thick block inside the pouch- as I was going to be eating it from the pouch I figured it was best to smoosh it up prior to jamming it into the heater. This meal is basically intended to be a 'burger'- you eat the patty with one of the wheat bread slices, with tabasco and BBQ sauce to taste.
Having heated I opened the meal, poured in both sauces and gave everything a stir. The patty (when pre-smooshed) has a texture not dissimilar to haggis, if you've tried it. It's little 'grains' of beef meat and beefy dryish stew. With the BBQ sauce and tabasco ribboned through the mix it did taste palatable, if not exactly a taste explosion. Not as flavoursome as the Jamaican Pork, but there is nothing there to offend. A spoonful of beef patty and a bite of wheat snack bread proved to be very filling.
At this point I was again nicely full but felt I could nibble on the Nacho Cheese Snack thingys. I found these to be a perfect beer snack, which may or may not have been by design knowing the 'laid back' approach to combat of some US units....Each is a little fat inch long crispy 'roll' filled with a pinkish cheesey flavoured stuff with a slight spicy mexican hint- like the middle of Cheesy Footballs at christmas, but nicer. The bag seemed small in the hand but there was a good few in their and I really enjoyed 'em. Just need to find big bags in my local Morrisons (some hope eh)
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Friday Night turned into Saturday am and I awoke fresh and ready to command (which is more than can be said for some of the dregs in the CSU camp who were busy polluting their tents)...during this early period I learned that MREs do not bung you up, contrary to urban legend- I'm happy to say nor do they affect color or heat. My lower intestine felt fine...a happy case of affairs having eaten 3 year old food, Stella and Haribo for 24 hours.
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Menu 10 Chili and Macaroni
Contents
Chili and Mac Meal Pouch
Cheese Spread
Wheat Snack Bread
Pound Cake (lemon flavour)
Cocoa beverage mix
Accessories pack
Cheese spread and bread- see above.
Chilli-mac main meal was a smidge of a let down: the chilli was not really spicy enough and the meal comes without additional Tabasco. I'm a bit of a chilli fanatic: homemade chilli with pasta features in the Lopez household at least once per week. The chilli in the MRE was innoffensive at best: there were no strong bean or tomato flavours to put-off a finicky trooper used to grits. In fact there wasn't much flavour at all. Other people, with a lesser chilli sauce intake to mine may think different but I was largely underwhelmed by the meal. That said you won't starve.
Dessert was Lemon Pound cake. A nice and satisfyingly un-Twinkie like lemon glazed madeira sponge and a decent sized slab too. The lemon flavour was not synthetic and the cake was light and not dry. Very nice but 12g of fat in the cake make it not for weight watchers methinks!
Addendum:
The Better Half has taken a liking to MRE beverage mixes.
I'm reliably informed (because I never got to try any) that the Spiced Apple Cider mix is very tasty when made with hot water and is extremely comforting on wet/cold days....For those not in the know that Yanks call pretty much everything with apple juice 'cider'- it's only "hard cider" bears any resemblance to the booze Pork Pie swigs from a earthenware jug when he's riding his tractor in Zummerzet....
Therefore the dehydrated Spiced Apple Cider is like a hot apple toddy minus the alcohol.
I can also report the Lemon Ice Tea is very nice but cold do with a gin in it.....
