It all began this past Friday night. It was around 6:30pm and I was going to grab my guitar and go over to a friends house to do some jammin'...you know play some Zeppelin, Whitesnake, AC/DC, blow the ear drums and the neighbors away...NOW THAT IS JAMMIN'. Crankin' up the amp to 11, Spinal Tap reference there.
At any rate, I decided to grab and have an MRE before I went out. I grabbed the 2004 menu Beefsteak meal. I heated up the entree and the western beans in the micro and chowed down on them while catching up with the news on MRE Info.com and some of the other websites I check daily like Jenna Jameson.com, etc, etc...Ahem! Well, I finished both of those components and so I grabbed some regular crackers, peanut butter and a strawberry jam packet from a leftover MRE and had me a PB and J cracker delight. I then had two tootsie rolls or toffee rolls as they call them for dessert and a leftover spiced pound cake from another left over MRE for my second dessert. The only thing I noticed odd about any of the items I ate was the pound cake. I have eaten about 20-25 pound cakes in my life and I have never seen one like the one I ate Friday night. It was broken up in about 20-30 smaller pieces. I did not smell or look odd and I thought to myself that perhaps I should not eat it. Well, the eyes, gave into temptation and I ate it and it tasted just fine. It had no funny taste or nothing nor did anything else for that matter.
The only thing I had at my friends house was a couple glasses of orange juice, straight with no vodka mind you, and I made sure it was fresh. The expiration date on it was 9-27-05 and he had recently bought it.
Fast forward to Saturday about 11:25am. My brother and I were going to meet at the Florida Fairgrounds gun show at noon. I grabbed a cup of milk and a Balance bar on my way out. The milk was fresh, the bar was fresh, besides I had eaten several of the bars the previous few days with no problem. As my brother and I walked around the gun who ooooing and ahhhing at all the neat guns my stomach started to exhibit a sharp pain. I started to get very weak and felt aches and pains all over my body. I drove myself to Walgreens and bought a 16oz Gatorade and a package of Tylenol Flu meds. I drank the Gatorade in about 10 seconds and downed a couple meds to boot. I came home and launched myself into bed where I remained for the next five hours. I did manage to get a few hours sleep in but after that I tossed and turned and was generally restless. I had a headache now and it was time for more meds. I downed some more Tylenol Flu meds, drank some more gatorade and went back to bed.
I awoke Sunday to my bedsheets soaken wet and started the dreaeded diarhheaa (sic). It was green and smelled like a few dead rats came out of my behind. That was to occur a few more times during the day. The rest of the day was me laying around and being completely useless...not unlike every other weekend...LOL!
Fast forward to Monday morning. I had to take about five liquid green shits before I left the house but felt good overall. I went about my day and ran out of steam around 2:30pm. The body could not take it anymore. I made a beeline for the house, drank a bottle of Gatorade, took some meds and hit the bed. This time I had a hell of a fever. I put an ice pack on my head and cooled off. I slept a wee bit and woke up to watch some TV. Yes, the green shits returned. As of this writing I have gone to the bathroom about 10 times and it feels like I am wiping with sandpaper...we have all been there and I am sure you are all so envious of me....
Well, as of this writing I still feel mighty crappily and am about to head off to bed again. I have already discussed this with kman, or cried on his shoulder about it, so thank kman for listening and being the lovable mre guy that you are, but I thought I would share my woe with all of the rest of my mre buddies here, not to disgust...oh no, I would never try and talk any of you out of eating mres, but I am just hear to tell you, from experience to...
BEWARE OF THE BEEFSTEAK!!!!
